Funny


Phil Gramm is wrong. Americans aren’t whiners, they’re just lazy and fat!

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

Dear Ms. Pelosi,

Today, CNN reported this:

Former terrorist suspects detained by the United States were tortured, according to medical examinations detailed in a report released by a human rights group. “We found clear physical and psychological evidence of torture and abuse, often causing lasting suffering,” said Dr. Allen Keller, a medical evaluator for the study.

The report is prefaced by retired U.S. Major Gen. Antonio Taguba, who led the Army’s investigation into the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal in 2003.

There is no longer any doubt that the current administration committed war crimes,” Taguba says. “The only question is whether those who ordered torture will be held to account.”

What are you going to do about it? By taking impeachment off the table, you have further weakened our country as much as Bush/Cheney. How? You have chosen to ignore YOUR Constitutional duty of checks and balances. You know this, of course. Who owns you? I think that’s the more relevant question now.

 

Dear CNN,

 Thanks for not reporting part 2 of the congressional report revealing that the Bush Administration misled us into war, lied to the American people and cost us a trillion dollars and thousnads of american lives.

Thanks for colluding with the Bush Admisitration in their lies. What a relief it is to know we can count on CNN for taking care of us in these difficult times.

 


Here’s the automated repsonse I got from CNN when I subitted the note above: 

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“CNN, The Most Trusted Name In News”


 The most trusted name in news?

I trust CNN? NOT!

 

 

 

 

 

Your front page headline today is so wonderful to read! Americans think there’s hope. I feel sooo inspired!

But then americans think we might actually be in a recession. That’s BAD!!! Golly, gosh, who really knows?

Maybe if the Corporate News actually reported news, the americans would know, instead of wondering.

That’s ok, americans don’t need to know, do they?

news is so wonderful now. We get to find out opinions on things, not just silly facts and stuff!

CNN, keep telling us GOOD stuff and not BAD stuff, OK?

 How’s Britney?

“A moment I’ve been dreading. George brought his ne’re-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida; the one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I’ll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they’ll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work.”

–From the REAGAN DIARIES: this entry is dated May 17, 1986.

My favorite Corporate Media outlet to pick on is CNN. Why? Because FOX News is much too easy of a target. I mean, you just don’t need a sawed off shotgun to hit the side of that barn! Dang!

What’s the latest with my dear friends at CNN? How about a poll worthy of the New York Post? Or maybe the National Enquirer? Did Rupert Murdoch buy Time Warner while we were sleeping? Oh never mind.

Smoke coming from a bulding on the White House grounds?

The Bush Administration spent over $5 million dollars on paper shredders, almost 6 times as much as the previous administration.

So my only question is this?

Were they burning shredded documents or did they run out of paper shredders?

Oy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amazing. Here’s what CNN calls news. Seven of thirteen stories on the home page are irrelevant. We’re living in a world gone mad. Never in history has the news media been more needed to inform the public. Never in U.S. history have they failed so miserably. Raunchy mannequins, chimps, bad kissers and fur-clad piglets. Now that’s what I call news!!!

How about global warming, peak oil, Alberto Gonzales, Andrew CArd, Larry Craig, President Bush’s signing statement designed to skirt congressional oversight, just to name a few. How about the rising cost of food and gasoline that never gets counted in inflation figures, or $4.50 for a half gallon of milk on $6.00 minimum wage? Where’s the reporting on the pending contempt of congress for Hariet Miers? How about the drought. Or how about a story about people committed to making peace in the world. Instead we get chimps. Maybe that’s what we have at CNN, chimps.

CNN.com apparently thinks running a red light is worthy of page one coverage. Oh Britney! You brat. Would you please behave so CNN can cover real news stories. Oh never mind,. they would just find some other titilating trivia to publish instead of newsworthy material.

 

Dear Senator Leahy,

America is at a moral crossroads, and you sir, are one who will help decide whether our country restores its moral integrity or continues down this perilous path to ruin.

Will you confirm Michael Mukasey?

Consider this about waterboarding:

“That we are even having a debate about this question, and that it is not a foregone conclusion that someone who claims not to know whether waterboarding is torture cannot possibly be confirmed as Attorney General, is a testament to the moral degradation of our country, and of our political discourse.”

It’s time to stop the Bush Administration.

Please sir, show up for your country, demand a yes or no answer to this question:

Is waterboarding torture or not?

If yes, then continue the confirmation process. If no, send him on his way. Today.

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